You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
