i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
