is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
