I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
