dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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