not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
well you can't waste a boner
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
