I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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