just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
do herpes really smell.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
