are you so shy because you have an std?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is Oprah even human
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
