Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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