"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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