yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
