Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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