90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
