If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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