so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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