No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize