Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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