finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My dick has a subreddit
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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