NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
