i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
