just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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