Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
