I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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