do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
