If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
