shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you win again, gameday.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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