Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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