I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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