i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
