Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I am one with the molecules
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
