I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
