ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
