On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
is that a dick in a sweater?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize