So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
