the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
