so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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