take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
