I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
