all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
