i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
