I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
