Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize