So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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