You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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