just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
