Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
