physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
