So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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