you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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