I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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