That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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