And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
