U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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