No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize