it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
