I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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