closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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