She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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