Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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